When dealing with loss, it’s always best to be gentle with yourself

If you are reading this while carrying the weight of loss, I want to begin by acknowledging something important: Grief is not a flaw to be corrected. It is the natural, human price we pay for having loved, cared, and invested ourselves in another life or possibility.

In the first waves of grief, happiness can feel impossibly far away. You might notice colors looking duller, laughter feeling out of place, or the future seeming uncertain. That’s OK. This is what love looks like when it hurts.

But here’s something I want you to know — happiness and grief are not enemies. In fact, in my years studying well-being, I’ve learned that they can coexist in the same life, sometimes even in the same day. A memory that once brought tears might one day bring a warm smile. A stranger’s kindness might touch you more deeply than it ever could before. Even something as ordinary as sunlight falling through a window can remind you that life still holds beauty.

These moments are not signs that you’re “moving on” or forgetting. They are signs that your heart is learning to hold both the ache of loss and the presence of joy together. This is the quiet work of healing — not erasing the pain, but integrating it into the story of your life so it no longer blocks the light.

So if you are grieving today, be gentle with yourself. Let yourself feel what you feel. Stay close to people who make you feel safe. And when small joys appear — a shared laugh, a touch of gratitude, the comfort of a familiar place — let them in without guilt.

Grief is the shadow that love casts. Where there is shadow, there must also be light. In time, that light will grow.